How you speak to your clients says a hell of a lot about how you see yourself.

Many recruiters don’t realise it, but they’re leaking self-doubt, hesitation and a lack of confidence in every email, voicemail and call they make.

And clients? They can hear it.

Words Have Weight

Does any of this sound familiar?

• “Hi, I’m just checking in to see how you went with _____”
• “Hi, I’m wondering how you’re going with filling ______ role”
• “Hi, I’m hoping that you might have time to meet in the next week to talk about _____”

But the truth is:

• You’re not just checking in.
• You’re not wondering if they might be hiring.
• You’re not hoping they have time.

You’re either valuable… or forgettable.
And the language you use decides which one.

Psychologist and author Amy Cuddy (famous for her work on power posing and presence) says:

“When we don’t feel powerful, we tend to use language that’s overly deferential. And that language teaches others how to treat us.”

Often we are teaching our clients to treat us like doormats without even realising it..

Do you sound like this?

Here’s a few passive phrases I see all the time (and before I became hyper aware of the language I used sometimes said myself):

• “Just following up…”
• “I was wondering if…”
• “Hopefully we can lock something in?”
• “Let me know what works for you.”
• “If it’s not too much trouble…”

They might feel polite. But they’re actually saying:

“I don’t want to be a bother.”
“I’m not sure I deserve your time.”
“You’re in charge. I’m just here if you need me.”

Now imagine a senior, confident consultant saying that.
Doesn’t land, right?

Because confident people don’t tiptoe. They know that hope is not a strategy.

Flip the Script

Here’s how those same phrases could sound with a more assertive, clear tone:

• Instead of: “Just checking in…”
  Say: “Let’s move forward on next steps. Here’s what I recommend.”
• Instead of: “Hope this isn’t a bad time…”
  Try: “Let me know when you’ve got 5 minutes today or tomorrow to discuss this.”
• Instead of: “Do you think you might need help hiring soon?”
  Go with: “You’ve got X role coming up—we should get ahead of that now. I’ve already got someone in mind.”

This isn’t about being aggressive. It’s about being clear.
Clear is kind. Clear is respected.

Why It Matters

Clients are busy. Sometimes distracted and / or cynical.
If you’re vague or wishy-washy, they’ll ignore you. Not because they’re rude. But because your message didn’t land with any urgency or authority.

When your words are passive, your impact is forgettable.
When your words are confident, your presence is felt, even in an email.

Brené Brown puts it perfectly:

“Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.”

So if you think you’re being polite by softening your language, ask yourself:

Are you being kind, or are you trying to avoid discomfort?

Because discomfort is part of the job and the sooner you can be comfortable with discomfort, the sooner you’ll get better results.

How to Audit Yourself

Do this:

1. Go read your last 5 client emails.
2. Count how many of these you see:
   • “Just”
   • “Hope”
   • “If it’s okay”
   • “Would it be possible to…”
3. Rewrite them with boldness. Directness. Clarity.

This tiny shift?
It builds trust.
It shows leadership.
It makes you the one they call when it actually matters.