Doing the best you can, with what you’ve got, from where you are
I was chatting recently with a recruiter who’d just had three deals collapse in one week. Brutal week – the kind that can break your spirit.
But instead of spiralling, they said:
“I’ll do the best I can with what I’ve got, from where I am.”
That line hit me. Because that’s mental toughness in its purest form – doing what you can, right now, without the blame, excuses, or drama.
And that, right there, is how you build resilience in recruitment.
Not by talking about it.
By training it.
The Blame Trap (and why it kills progress)
We all fall into it at times; the client changed their mind, the candidate ghosted, the market’s dead.
Sounds logical. Feels safe.
But the second you start outsourcing responsibility, you stop growing.
Blame may feel comforting, but accountability is strength.
Recognising when you’re in the blame trap:
- You catch yourself using “if only” language
- You feel powerless or flat
- You vent more than you act
Breaking the pattern:
- Pause and ask, what can I control right now?
- Reframe “they made me” into “I chose to”
- Take one constructive action, no matter how small
Every time you pull yourself out of that spiral, you strengthen your resilience muscle.
Reframing Rejection: Turning Setbacks Into Reps
Rejection in recruitment isn’t just inevitable, it’s your gym.
Every “no,” every fall-through, every client that ghosts you – that’s a chance to train that resilience muscle.
You can take it personally and fold, or walk about saying f*ck you to everyone and everything,
or you can treat it like resistance training.
I like to say:
“Resilience is a muscle. The only way you grow it is by putting it under load.”
You wouldn’t expect to get stronger without lifting weight.
So why expect resilience without setbacks?
Rejection becomes your proof point: not a failure, but feedback that builds capacity. And I’m here to tell you – you are capable of building that capacity.
How to Constructively Build Resilience
You don’t need to meditate on a mountain (though go for it, if that’s your thing). You just need consistent, simple reps that keep you in control.
| Pillar | What It Looks Like | Daily Practice |
|---|---|---|
| Awareness | Spotting the blame, excuses, or self-talk loops | Quick end-of-day reflection: what did I own, and what did I avoid? |
| Reframing | Shifting from “why me?” to “what now?” or “Okay, next.” | Write one thing you learned from a setback |
| Energy Baseline | Resilience needs fuel | Sleep, movement, hydration: non-negotiables |
| Micro Challenges | Small stressors that build tolerance | Cold showers, tough calls, early gym – whatever stretches comfort |
| Support Loops | Feedback that keeps perspective | Peers, mentors, coaches: someone to call you on your BS |
Experts in performance psychology call this stress inoculation: repeated exposure to manageable pressure builds capacity for bigger pressure later.
And in recruitment, the pressure never stops – so you can train it.
The 3 Habits That Weaken Your Resilience Muscle
- Blaming: hands your power away
- Complaining: reinforces victim thinking
- Making excuses: protects ego, blocks growth
Each one feels good short-term.
Each one leaves you weaker long-term.
When you choose accountability instead, your resilience muscle adapts. It’s the same as physical training — you can’t avoid the reps and expect results.
Expert Perspective: What the Research Says
- The American Psychological Association defines resilience as “adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, or significant stress.” The emphasis? Adapting.
- McKinsey research on workforce resilience found that people who focus on controllables and meaning outperform peers under stress.
- Dr Adam Fraser’s work on The Third Space shows that resetting between moments – letting go of the last, refocusing on the next – directly builds mental resilience.
All of it lines up perfectly with what I teach: energy management, accountability and consistent reflection.
When You Feel It Slipping
Even the most driven, resilient recruiters crack sometimes.
You hit a wall, the rejection or fallaways get to you, you lose your spark and start quietly resenting your desk.
That’s not weakness. That’s fatigue.
Your resilience muscle is just overtired, under-fuelled or ignored.
Here’s how to get it firing again:
1. Stop the spiral
When your head starts spinning – “I can’t do this,” “everything’s going wrong,” “the market’s dead” – you’re not thinking, you’re reacting.
Take 90 seconds. Step away from the desk. Breathe.
Slow your system down before you try to fix anything. You can’t rebuild from chaos. You can’t rebuild when your brain is in fight or flight. You need to calm your nervous system first.
2. Do a control check
Write down two lists:
- What I can control right now
- What I can’t
Then tear up the second list. It’s dead weight. You’ve acknowledged it, now let it go.
Resilient recruiters conserve energy by only spending it where it counts.
3. Micro-reset your routine
Most recruiters think burnout means they need a week off. Sometimes, it’s one good morning.
Get back to basics:
- Sleep properly
- Move your body (get outside, walk around the block for 10 minutes)
- Drink water before caffeine
- Start your day with one “pipeline-building” task, not inbox chaos
Momentum rebuilds faster when you focus on simple wins.
4. Reconnect to your why
Purpose fuels resilience. When you forget why you’re doing this, every knock feels heavier.
Ask yourself: Who benefits when I’m at my best? (Your candidates, your clients, your family, your future self.)
That’s your anchor. Write it somewhere visible.
5. Ask for perspective, not permission
You don’t need to vent to be heard – you need perspective.
Grab someone you trust and say, “Talk me through what I’m missing here.”
You’ll be surprised how often someone outside your storm can see the gap in your thinking.
6. Re-train with smaller loads
If your resilience muscle’s cooked, don’t go chasing huge goals right away.
Pick one task, one client, one call. Nail it. Then build from there.
That’s how you rebuild strength – rep by rep.
To Finish Up,
Resilience is a muscle,
You build it one rep at a time.
Every tough client call, every setback, every rejection – that’s your training session.
And every time you show up, you get stronger.
So next time it feels heavy?
Smile. You’re mid-workout.
Keep training that resilience muscle.
Let’s f*cking go.
